Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
