Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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