I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
