i already hear my dad disowning me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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