I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She announced her abortion via fbk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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