didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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