You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
