if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
How naked do you want me to be?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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