he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
