I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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