I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
