Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
