i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
