I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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