Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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