ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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