u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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