what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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