Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
