So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
someone owes me an orgasm
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My liver just had a heart attack.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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