lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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