My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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