Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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