The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
