apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
