That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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