If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
