yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
