did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
