And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
