You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
as a side note pls kill me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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