i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
