I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
