You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
