Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
