Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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