I am midnight drunk by noon
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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