Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
