She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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