I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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