yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize