Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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