hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The best revenge is premature balding
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
