Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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