You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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