How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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