A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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