You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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