i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
