I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
