I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
