And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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