do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize