Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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