wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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