We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize