you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out