He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
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I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.