half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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