Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"

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  (412): Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****" http://tfl.nu/w62j
  Replies (34) Good night (3568) Bad night (554)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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  (940): there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me http://tfl.nu/wugh
  Replies (65) Good night (796) Bad night (20293)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

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  (712): Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it. http://tfl.nu/8ikj
  Replies (35) Good night (1798) Bad night (5033)
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  (914): View more from New York

  2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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  (914): 2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine http://tfl.nu/wmh7
  Replies (46) Good night (4764) Bad night (2762)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.

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  (724): i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here. http://tfl.nu/fq3k
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (3446)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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  (845): I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary http://tfl.nu/j2zc
  Replies (9) Good night (2315) Bad night (859)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (2048)
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  (718): View more from New York

  She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.

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  (718): She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on. http://tfl.nu/7c2k
  Replies (4) Good night (1149) Bad night (374)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

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  (610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (1035)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who dressed up as a cop at your party???

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  idk I have to check. Why?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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  (724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (2439) Bad night (303)
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  (951): View more from California

  The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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  (951): The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever. http://tfl.nu/0whk
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (320)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..

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  (570): Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours.. http://tfl.nu/vg6d
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (314)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

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  (704): If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again. http://tfl.nu/0rol
  Replies (7) Good night (601) Bad night (237)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.

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  (281): Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician. http://tfl.nu/l4gb
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (213)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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  (289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (162)

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