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if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
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