I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
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she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.