i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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