Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry http://tfl.nu/nl2p
  Replies (23) Good night (1602) Bad night (7366)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92
  Replies (25) Good night (735) Bad night (5489)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5721) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is. http://tfl.nu/gvpy
  Replies (15) Good night (8416) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now. http://tfl.nu/6prd
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (2604)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this. http://tfl.nu/rcac
  Replies (25) Good night (1774) Bad night (5815)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (4063) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp http://tfl.nu/t0a5
  Replies (9) Good night (1404) Bad night (2760)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree). http://tfl.nu/fkun
  Replies (7) Good night (1075) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!

  (386): View more from Florida

  Gravity is no match for my libido

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work! (386): Gravity is no match for my libido http://tfl.nu/l272
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt http://tfl.nu/qfiy
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really. http://tfl.nu/fn3m
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's your ideal size in a man?

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): What's your ideal size in a man? (765): I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow...... http://tfl.nu/zo79
  Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/7wsd
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (329)

Randomize