Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.