I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
zippers are such a cool invention
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"