Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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