why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
