the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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