I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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