I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
