I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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