We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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